Dating with insecurities
We live in an era where technology has seeped through all our habits, and one of the aspects of our lives that has seen a drastic change is the act of dating. We don’t go out as much to meet new people in bars and clubs; instead we go online and meet new partners by using one of the many online dating sites available out there. It feels easier and simpler; we now talk to new people from the comfort of our house, behind our computer screens. But this doesn’t mean that dating is necessarily easy for everyone, especially if you happen to have a few insecurities. So let’s take a look and see what you can do when you’re not so confident or at ease with yourself when it comes to look around for companionship.
A negative self-image
Insecurities often mean that there are aspects of yourself you are not happy about. I could be about your personality but also about your looks. Some people simply don’t have the confidence to reach out to others in fear that they will get a negative response. It is that fear of rejection that stops some of us from reaching out to new soulmates, as we are worried that they will hurt our feelings. We think they won’t like us because we don’t have enough to offer, and furthermore we just don’t see the possibility that someone could be attracted to us. The truth is there isn’t one singular solution for us to think differently, especially when we don’t actually like our own physical aspect. So what can we do? Let’s look into the past…
Most insecurities will stem from past experience. There were times where we have been told we are not good enough whilst some of us simply haven’t had the right emotional support throughout our lives for us to develop that confidence. So one good thing you can do to try to understand yourself better is to look back into past events and try to make sense of them. If our parents didn’t give us enough love, we tend to think that it was our fault. We think that their unhappiness was due to us being born and we can’t help but feeling responsible. But the truth is that it can’t really be your fault, being born is not a crime. People who are living a stressful life often take it out on others, and this is most likely what happened there. If you can look beyond this, you will see that other people are still capable of loving you; but you have to love yourself first. Look at your past, accept that life is all about making 99% of errors and 1% of actual good decisions. Don’t beat yourself about the past, instead look forwards towards the future.
Getting back to dating
The good thing about online dating is that you’re not being put on the spot. You have all the time you need to create your dating profile so take it slow, think about how you could present yourself in a positive light to other people. You’re not expected to be that perfect person, there are in fact a lot of people in a similar situation than you out there. Instead just be honest, use a recent photo of yourself that you’re somewhat happy about and tell people that you have insecurities. That way people who also feel similarly will be more inclined to reach out to you. You might get less messages coming through but the ones that do will be people who are closer to your personality. Basically just be honest and you will attract like-minded people who have a better chance at really connecting with you.
Think about what you want
There are many dating sites out there, some are for serious dating whilst others are just for having fun. If you feel like the pressure of a relationship is too much, why not try an NSA sex solution like Sex With No Strings or other adult sites. It might sound a little dirty and intimidating but people who go on those sites often just want to have simple fun and they don’t expect miracles. The best thing about this sort of adult dating is that people don’t expect you to have it all together; they just want to enjoy a bit of company. It might just serve as good training so you get used to having people around you again. If it all goes well, you will gain some confidence as you will be able to have and provide a good time. This in turn will make you realise that you have things to offer to others. Of course you don’t have to go through that route, there are other ways to meet people. You could always join an activities club, do some sports, go to the gym and keep it social. Ideally you would make a compromise between dating and just meeting people which will cumulatively contribute you to build up more confidence. The starting point of all that is for you to sit down and think about what you like and don’t like, and then just move on from there. Discover yourself so that you can discover others better.