What Makes A Cheater Cheat
There is a huge misunderstanding that someone who cheats must be really confident—that is, they must think a whole lot of themselves. The jilted person may then assume that if they felt better about themselves, their partner wouldn’t have strayed. This is detrimental thinking, as it is the cheater’s insecurity that’s the real cause of disloyalty.
See, the truly confident person is only attracted to another confident person; like attracts like. We subconsciously rate how confident a person is by how they act and the persona they put out in the world. But our assumptions aren’t always right: We falsely believe that if a man is a charismatic womanizer, for example, that he must truly love only himself. The real reason people stray is because they feel incomplete, unsure of who they are, and not at all confident.
How I Ditched My Commitment Issues…By Snooping
It takes guts to be committed. To become emotionally intimate with another person in any relationship takes courage. If you really think about it, you’re letting down your guard to a stranger. It can be pretty scary to allow someone else in, to see yourself as you truly are beyond your mask—especially if you haven’t taken a peak inside yourself.
If you are not OK with yourself, you’ll simply run from one surface-skimming relationship to another to avoid getting close. This is cowardly, not a sign of confidence. This isn’t love, but fear.
16 Inspirational Commitment Quotes From Brilliant Authors
The reason cheaters are fearful is they know at some level that their mask of confidence is not real. Their success, their looks, and their fame is all a façade to compensate their “shadow self”. They run away from the ugliness, the failure, and the rejection they fear by finding people to adore them and tell them they’re worthy. The get fuel from others because they cannot find the love inside themselves.
Relationship Questions To Ask For Long-Term Commitment
When they enter a relationship with someone who wants to get closer and get real, their façade is threatened. They have have such a deep dislike for the person beneath the mask that they run to look for someone who is satisfied with just superficial sex and idolization. When they see someone get insecure around them, they cannot stand the reflection of their shameful qualities, and they run.